


Between You and Me

by navaan



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bittersweet, Civil War (Marvel), Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Fanart, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 08:45:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12128805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: "I'm sorry, Tony, but you know I can't," Steve says and Tony knows there is no stopping him. When was there ever?For Cap IM Tiny RB Round 11: Union





	Between You and Me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cap-IM Tiny RB Round 10: Union](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12040401) by [faite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faite/pseuds/faite). 



> This is not the story I set out to write for the beautiful art. This is just the one I managed to finish at all.

"I'm sorry, Tony, but you know I can't," Steve says and Tony knows there is no stopping him. When was there ever? 

But he keeps a calm face. They've argued and screamed and fought in front of the whole world and now Steve is there in front of him, two guns pointed at his face, and the only thing he says is: "I'm sorry, Tony."

He's said it quite often recently. 

Tony's never sure Steve really _is_ sorry. He only knows his own feelings. And Tony _is_ sorry that it has come to this; that he is here, Tony Stark, Director of SHIELD, and Steve is there, Captain America, former hero, now on the run. They've both been pushed into their roles and are playing them.

There's no way out right now.

Not with political climate what it is.

He doesn't say anything, only watches. There are no orders he could give that would make a difference.

Steve twists his body and has the agents pointing their guns this way and that. The shield makes the most formidable weapon and Tony feels nothing - not even the admiration he usually feels when he sees Steve use his skills to get away.

He can only think of the glass, the height, the fall.

And then Steve is gone.

And Tony's face is a mask of stone, while his heart is trying to work its way out of his chest. He's scared. _It's too high,_ he thinks, _even for him_. He rushes forward, the wind outside hitting him with an icy cold that matches his fear.

_If he's dead I killed him. If he's dead I'll never be able to live with myself. If he's dead..._

The thought chokes him, knocks the breath out of him and he hears one of the agents call his name, trying to caution him. It's slippery. He might fall. 

Instead he stands at the edge of the abyss and looks into the dark of night, his heart still beating too fast. It's all quite fitting.

But there is a streak of blue, caught by red and white.

Falcon.

Good.

Good.

Steve is safe.

"He got away," is what comes out of his mouth and his heart is still beating painfully in his chest, making it easier to look sour and disappointed.

It all comes quite easily now. 

He's sad and lonely all the time.

* * *

Alone on a roof top, he looks out over New York. He shouldn't be here, on top of the Stark International building, unprotected. He should be in bed, resting and gathering strength for the battles to come. He feels like giving up today.

_Steve could have died._

He hears the footsteps on the staircase and he doesn't turn around.

Tonight he's not sure he can do this.

Maybe he can't

Maybe he can.

Time will tell.

Steve pulls the cowl away from his face. His hair is tousled. 

"You weren't hurt?" he asks of Tony and he really _is_ worried.

Tony tries to muster up a smile, but his face is still frozen. His heart... it's breaking and he doesn't know why, because Steve is safe.

"Me? I didn't jump from a 56th floor window."

Steve smiles as if that is in any way a good joke. Of course, it's not a joke at all.

"You keep making it harder for me."

"I keep letting you go," he contradicts. "You're Captain America, but even despite your reputation _someone_ will ask questions when I don't at least try." He doesn't know why his voice is breaking.

Steve pulls him close. "I know," he whispers and leans in, his brows pressed against Tony's. "I know. I want this to be over, too. Just until we set this right. Just until..."

"I know," he say to stop Steve from speaking. There are too many threats to give up the position as director of SHIELD. Him being in charge of SHIELD might be the only edge they have right now. "I love you," he whispers. Tony leans up and kisses Steve his fingers gliding into Steve's hair, pulling Steve down for a kiss.

Steve kisses back, desperately. They've been apart for so long, but this is dangerous and foolish. It only makes it more exciting, makes them more needy. 

"Steve," he whispers and feels Steve pull off his heavy red gloves to reach for his hand. Even in the dark up here he sees the glint of the ring on Steve's finger.

"Just a little longer," Steve whispers and kisses the top of his head. "I miss you so much."

There's a matching ring hanging on a chain around his neck, buried under his uniform where nobody can see it. Nobody knows. Not even their friends. They married in secret. It seems like a blessing now - and like a curse. He had only wanted them to be safe and happy. What are they now?

"I miss you too," and his voice is still shaky. 

He clings to Steve, because he wants to make sure he's alive. "You need to go," he whispers."

"Not now." Steve shakes his head.

"I'm sorry. Yes, now. SHIELD, all agencies, have their eyes on me. Go."

Steve hesitates and Tony really wants to hold him back.

He doesn't resist when Steve hugs him tightly. "I'll come for you. I'll kidnap you for ransom or information next time. I _need_ to see you for more than a stolen moment."

He chuckles, but it's a broken sound. "I'd like that. Make it look real okay?"

Steve's hold on him tightens. They kiss, hard enough to hurt. 

Then Steve pulls away and slips into the shadow, fast like a ghost.

And Tony is left alone on the rooftop.

His heart still hurts.

He's loved, he knows.

But he's never been so lonely.


End file.
